Growing in Virtuous Femininity

Ever since my blog post about preparing for Lent, I've been giving a lot of thought to what I should do. Femininity keeps coming up. Its a topic very dear to my heart and I want to give it sufficient time and thought. However, I also had doubts, thinking that focusing on femininity might take away from this solemn season. 

Eventually, I realized that what I really want to practice, is not femininity, but virtuous femininity.

But why femininity? Couldn't I just be more virtuous and call it a day? 

Well, because men and women are different, (it always comes back to this doesn't it?) Its natural that these differences will effect how virtue plays out in their lives. Obviously, virtues aren't masculine or feminine in themselves, but if you look at a virtuous husband and wife, side by side, you'll notice that the way they prove themselves virtuous, is different, even if they share the same virtues. Some will be more natural or more challenging for women than men. Where women are lacking, the men will make up for it and vise versa. They are complimentary. 

The same could be said for vices. All people commit sin, but based on sex, it will play out in different ways. This is a reason why I'm focusing specifically on virtuous femininity, because simply becoming more feminine isn't all that is needed for holiness. While I do think women who live in their femininity will have an easier time becoming virtuous, I can't pretend that simply wearing skirts and being a stay at home wife will make a virtuous woman. 

When it comes to those feminine things of outward appearance, I plan to write about them after Lent. It works out well because when it comes to virtue, I think it's best to change our interior first, so that the virtue on the inside can radiate out into our daily actions. 

When we start with outward appearances, we might be tempted to give ourselves a pass for not truly being virtuous because we appear to be virtuous on the outside.

Going back to masculinity and femininity, have you noticed that men seem to become more masculine during Lent? I doubt they would say, "My focus for Lent this year is growing in masculine virtue!" But because Lent is typically associated with big, heroic, and sacrificial actions, its natural that men will grow in virtuous masculinity. Think Exodus 90, which many men begin ninety days before Easter.

So how do women fit in here? How can we become virtuously feminine? A lot of the time for Lent, I tend to take the masculine approach: big sacrifices, lots of fasting, etc. Not to say that women aren't ever called to do these things...and when I do have a very difficult Lent, I feel accomplished at Easter time. 

I just feel in my heart that women should have a slightly different approach, doing things and making the kind of sacrifices that allow the feminine heart and soul to grow and blossom. 

Here is my current outline for Lent:

I plan to look to scripture, The Blessed Mother, the saints, and the traditions of our Church through these weeks of Lent, meditating on them, and practicing what they teach, specifically when it comes to womanhood. 

I've noticed that I typically take away more than I give during this season, meaning I remove lots of stuff from my life, but I hardly ever give my time, my listening ear, and my prayers. 

One book that focuses on this giving, is like Exodus 90, but for women. It looks very different, as it should. It's called Magnify 90. I stole some of their guidelines for myself, and I will probably read it a lot of it over the course of Lent. 

photo from Amazon

In addition to that, I'm going to use a source from Timothy Gordon that has all the scripture and Church teaching about Christian wives, mostly to make my life easier. I'd rather not go through the whole bible on my own, looking for every mention of women, especially if someone already has. (for the source, its free to download on his website! I highly recommend it.)

 I've also committed to wearing only dresses and skirts this Lent. Ahh! It's going to be hard and awkward at times when everyone else is wearing pants, but I've found that when I dress like a woman, I feel more feminine and more cheerful than when I'm wearing leggings and a sweatshirt. 

This will be an exciting and challenging journey for me! I've been dying to write about femininity, but haven't known where to begin. 

I hope at least some of this will inspire you to continue (or begin!) your virtuous femininity journey. Our culture needs feminine women desperately. We as Christians, who have a better understanding about this topic than most, ought to hold ourselves to a higher standard and truly strive to live virtuous feminine, women. 

And Lent is, as usual, a good place to start. 

May your Lenten journey bring you closer to Christ and his Blessed Mother!

Gina💕