For My Mom on Mother's Day: the heart of the home & ever watchful guardian

"For if the man is the head, the woman is the heart, as he occupies the chief place in ruling, so she may and ought to claim for herself the chief place in love." 

                                       ~Pope Pius XI (Casti Connubii)

It is Mother's Day and so I thought it would be appropriate to write a little something about my mother. In an age of feminism, full of working mothers, I was privileged to have one who stayed home to raise me and my four younger siblings. And maybe I'm a little biased, but I think she did a pretty good job💕

What can I say about my mom? We couldn't be more different personality-wise. I'm quieter and more like my father. My Mom is more social and spontaneous. We have very different ways of running our households (which sometimes drives me crazy) but even though our ways of living are different, my Mom always made me feel loved growing up, to this day. She has always been a mother, quite like the one Pius XI writes about in Casti Connubii, exemplifying what it means to be the heart of the home.

My Mom brought us up with great love and careful discernment. She was always very patient with everyone in the family. She cheerfully and respectfully led us in the family rosary before my Dad stepped up to lead it. With careful research and love for our faith, my Mom chose not to vaccinate us (way before it was cool) and eventually she would take us out of private school to begin homeschooling. She did her very best to instill in all her children a love of learning and of literature. I think she succeeded with at least 2 kids out of 5. She supported us in our activities, and hobbies, coaching my sister and I in volleyball and becoming the event coordinator for my brothers' football team. 

She told me many times that her relationships within the family were always more important than the housework, which would always be there, even after we all grew up and left... That is an admirable quality to someone like me, who would probably have a hard time letting things go for the sake of the children. My mom was wonderful at loving us and her heart was the glue that bound our family together!

She was always very hospitable to everyone who came to our house. It was very inspiring to me how she would put love and thought into every detail from the cooking to something as simple as having plastic dishes and cups in the bottom cupboard for visiting kids, even after her kids grew up. Now when I host people in my own home, I think; "What would mom do?" 

She was also like that "ever watchful guardian" that Pope Pius XI mentions is lost when a woman leaves her home to enter the workforce. My Mom made sure that our childhood was kept innocent and lighthearted. We were allowed to just be kids, uninfluenced by trends or the media. I hated that we weren't allowed to watch Disney Channel at the time, but now I'm happy that those shows aren't nostalgic for me. (those kids really were disrespectful to their parents, just like Mom said! Imagine that!)

She always made sure my sisters and I were dressed modestly. Those shopping trips were painful at the time but now I'm forever grateful that she stood firmly in her decisions and that she wouldn't allow me to wear bikinis like most of my private school peers. She gave us the freedom to have friends over or boyfriends/girlfriends when we got older, but she was always just around the corner, in a nonintrusive way of course, to make sure everyone was being virtuous. She kept our family vacations strictly for family, because she knew we needed that time with our siblings and extended family, more than an opportunity to run off with our friends. My Mom could always tell when something was wrong and she always did her best to listen and to help us. 

The most important point is that she was never not there for us. We never doubted that she loved my Dad and respected him as the head of the household. In all her tireless giving of self, her support, and her example of what it means to be a holy wife and mother, she has truly claimed for herself that chief place of love in all our hearts. And one day I hope to be a mother as graceful and loving as she is!

Love you Mom! Happy Mother's Day!